We have something really special for you today. It’s called a blog post. No, actually it’s something we’re calling Grubb Bites.
We at Grubb Hub have decided that instead of always trying to stir up the motivation to polish off the proverbial 6-course meal in the form of writing full, feature-length articles (which clearly is not working, as evidenced by the lack of posts lately), we thought it might be fun to quickly go through some items of the day and offer our reaction in a more “bite-sized” or condensed form. So here goes nothing:
Charter Brings the Big Ten Network to Southern Illinois, St. Louis
Since it’s inception in 2006, I have spent many a night dreaming of what it would be like to have the Big Ten Network for my very own. To possess her, to hold her in my arms. To caress her slowly and softly, as she deserves to be caressed. To toss aside the cares of the world and just spend the day with her, watching her replays of games I’ve already seen again and again…and again and again.
But alas, it was not meant to be, for I had Charter Cable. And if it were not insufferable enough that I could not possess her for my own, too often I had borne witness to her flaunting herself in the arms of others – like a wanton and promiscuous whore!! Until it turned my stomach just to hear her name.
We thought it would be fun to put our unlimited NFL knowledge and wisdom to test. After all, we were the ones that predicted that Josh McDingleberry would run the Denver Broncos into the ground after trading Jay Cutler to the Bears for no good reason. And look how right we were there!
Actually, the jury is still out on that one. You can do all the fist-pumping you want Josh, it’s still only six wins. Save your fist-pumping for when you win something that matters.
Anyway, feel free to enter the contest yourself and join all the local celebrities at the Fox & the Hound in Chesterfield Sunday, Nov. 8, from noon to 4:00pm. Your picks might even turn out to be smarter than ours! (Not likely)
So without further hors d’oeuvres here’s Grubb Hub’s NFL Week 9 Picks:
Washington at Atlanta
For a guy that thought he could simply buy a championship, Redskins owner Daniel Snyder picked the wrong sport. Sorry Daniel, that’s Major League Baseball that hands out its titles to the highest bidder. In the NFL, you have to win with the guys you draft, and the guys you draft suck. You might also want to try not changing your coach every year. He’s not the problem. The guy that hired him is.
Voting ends Tuesday, which means there’s only three days left. So get out and vote for the man whose dedication to the mustache has meant so much to the cause. And just between you and me, Ryan has a pretty good chance of winning this thing. But if he doesn’t the blame will be yours and yours alone for not voting, you heartless bastard.
Today at Grubb Hub, we bring you a very special treat: A well-written article by someone else. However, its theme should be pleasantly familiar to the 2.5 loyal readers of this blog.
It’s written by Charles P. Pierce of Esquire Magazine, and it points out many of the same things about La Russa that I’ve been yelling at my family members for years.
However, you’re also sure to learn something about everyone’s favorite genius that you didn’t know before. After reading it myself, I can’t help but wonder…what happened to the ballet school shirt?
As the Cardinals get ready to face a potential sweep at the hands of Los Angeles Dodgers, Cardinal fans as usual are distracted by the symptoms of the disease rather than the cause.
What’s the matter with Ryan Franklin?
How could Matt Holliday drop that ball?
Why can’t we score any stinking runs?
As usual, none of the criticism has been directed toward Cardinals manager Tony La Russa. In fact, aside from the “The Kevin Slaten Show” aired weekdays at 2 p.m. on KSLG 1380 AM in St. Louis (which we highly recommend by the way), Grubb Hub is one of the few media outlets that actually puts Tony La Russa’s feet to the fire.
I can’t believe I just referred to my crappy blog as a “media outlet”. Maybe Buzz Bissinger was right.
No, I’m not talking about the latest fledgling fruit drink franchise to be crushed by the heartless corporate shell Orange Julius. I mean Juice Williams, the embattled senior quarterback for the Fighting Illini football team. Juice has been the poster boy for an Illini season that started so promising, and now conjures up what Illini fans hoped were long-forgotten nightmares of Tepper and Turner.
Illinois head coach Ron Zook made the call early this week: Junior backup Eddie McGee would make his first career start under center, against the Michigan State Spartans and their evil, racist mascot Sparty.
This was the wrong call for a number of reasons. First of all, Illinois finally gets to play a mediocre opponent at home. Sure, the Illini and Juice have looked terrible in their three losses. But for a moment, consider the opponents: Missouri, Ohio State, and Penn State. All three of those teams are currently ranked. Ohio State and Penn State are both in the top 15. Only one of those games – last week’s 35-17 disappointment against the Nittany Lions – has been in the somewhat friendly, renovated confines of Memorial Stadium.
Yes, the 2009 Major League Baseball All-Star Game and the surrounding festivities in St. Louis were a grand time enjoyed by all. Unless you happened to shell out $170 for a home run derby ticket in right field thinking you would have a chance at catching a ball…D’oh!
One exception might have been Albert Pujols, the poster boy for this year’s event. In the home run derby, Phat Albert needed some fan interference just to make it out of the first round. In the actual game, Albert went hitless and also made a very un-Albert like error at first base.
Then there was Stan Musial, who did get his moment in the national spotlight. And I do mean moment; the Musial “tribute” could not have been one millisecond longer. Anyone watching outside of Cardinal Nation would have learned virtually nothing about Musial, except that apparently he was some sort of really good player from the olden days that didn’t play for the Red Sox, Yankees, or some other big market coastal team, so who cares right?
Musial’s tribute was apparently cut short because Barack Obama was “in da hizzouse”, as the kids like to say. Yes, Barack Obama! Who gives a flying rat turd about Stan Musial? Barack Obama is here!
Oh, infallible leader-god, wilt thou grace us with thine presence? Thou wilt? Hazzah!!
With no long term deal signed by Matt Holliday as a requirement of Friday’s trade from the Oakland A’s to St. Louis, apparently the onus is on our collective shoulders.
You see, Holliday will be an unrestricted free agent at the end of the season. So unless we – the greatest and most knowledgeable fans in the game of baseball – come through and win him over, heart and soul, we will have given away our last two number one draft picks (highly-touted third baseman Brett Wallace and pitcher Clayton Mortensen) and another minor leaguer, Shane Peterson, for nothing.
Giving away three prospects for nothing would bother most normal people. Not Tony La Russa, mind you, but most normal people it would. Especially when we just gave away three prospects to Oakland for nothing a few years ago. You remember Mark Mulder don’t you?
Good thing nobody we gave the A’s that time turned out to be any good. Ahem…Dan Haren.
It was reported that one of the first questions asked of Cardinals general manager John Mozeliak during last Saturday’s press conference to announce the Mark DeRosa trade was essentially, “Okay, so we got DeRosa. What’s next?”
Which to those of us at Grubb Hub, begs the obvious question: Why can’t the St. Louis media grill Tony La Russa the way they do Mozeliak? Is it because Mozeliak has a generally nice disposition, and is at least tolerant of legitimate criticism?
This, of course, is in stark contrast to Ton E. La Russa: Super Genius, who grows as huffy as if he’d just had his third-favorite dog kicked the few times he’s actually questioned about his latest head-scratching move or lineup configuration.
Case in point: That same day, the Cardinals were leading the Minnesota Twins by the score of 5-3 in the bottom of the third inning - thanks once again to the super-human talents of Albert Pujols, who had homered his first two trips to the plate.
Relief pitcher Josh Kinney, who was batting in the eighth spot (*sigh*), came to the plate with the bases loaded and two outs.
Let’s toss aside the obvious point for the moment that if the pitcher wasn’t batting eighth (*sigh*), once again you would’ve had an actual hitter at the plate for this crucial at bat.
The staff of Grubb Hub enjoyed its yearly company baseball outing at Busch Stadium 3-D last Wednesday night from one of the many posh luxury boxes available at the new stadium. And by staff I mean myself, and by posh luxury box I mean free right field bleacher tickets.
Anyhow, we noticed a peculiar set of stratagems employed by St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony La Russa during the bottom half of the sixth inning of Wednesday’s 4-3 triumph over the Detroit Tigers which we found quite perplexing to say the least.
Yadier Molina singled to lead off the inning on a sharp ground ball that pitcher Edwin Jackson deflected to third baseman Brandon Inge. As the Tigers are oft to do while in the Gateway City, Inge promptly chucked the ball into the stands, allowing Molina to advance to second.
So with Molina in scoring position and nobody out, third baseman Joe Thurston stepped to the plate. Now, mind you third base is typically a run-producing position. Ah, but Joe Thurston (.234, 1 HR, 18 RBI) is not your average third baseman. In fact, he is very much below average.
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